I just ordered a SEX TOY? HOLY SHIT!

I was online searching for some items to order online. The weather has  changes up real quick, and I was in need of a winter jacket QUICK. This site I use, similar to an Amazon, and EBAY, but with prices of a Craigslist… BUT IN CHINESE

Anyhow, I see a picture of this CUTE ass dress this Asian girl have on. Is short, fitted, and the nude color was sexy as ever. I followed the link. I was still on the site, so no red flag went up. But once everything loaded, I noticed it wasn’t dresses she was advertising, it was SEX TOYS.

Okay, now lets talk about sex and masturbation. Up until yesterday, I have always taken a manual approach to masturbation and my fingers have suited me just fine. 

I have problems sleeping. I will literally stay up all day and night, just thinking. Thinking about the good, the bad, the ugly, the old, the new, and even past relationships or what not. I say that to say, when I “Masturbate” lmao (can’t believe I just said that) I don’t stick anything INSIDE of me. It’s more like getting some real quick with out the extra nonsense, then getting put to sleep, peacefully. I guess its safe to say I would be rubbing myself to give me the feeling as if my hands were a vibrator. My first time playing with myself, was one time when my HELLO KITTY was baby bottom smooth. I glazed my fingers across the top to make sure, (I was considering getting some) and I said to my self, “SHIT! That felt good)

Anyhow, thats how and where it all started. When I would get in late at night, I’d get out the shower feeling all sexy…. And realized these people didn’t deserve me so I wasn’t going to make any call or send any message. I’d watch NCIS on NETFLIX until I fall asleep, or at least try to fall asleep. 4 hours late, my ass would still be up. smh

Then, I turn to my side, comfort myself, and put my hands in between the both of my legs. I didn’t have on panties, I hardly EVER have on panties when I get out the shower. So my hands were pretty much touching my Hello Kitty.

I wasn’t a pro. I would basically “have fun” until I felt this rush come. Once it would get uncontrollable, I’d have this feeling. Its hard to explain. Its like this feeling that felt soooooo good it was unreal. This feeling that felt so darn good, I wanted to stop!!! Legs shaking, body tightened and all tensed up… SHIT!

Enough about that, about this sex toy. I was curious. I found so many online when I wasn’t even looking. I spent liker 2 hours browsing. Adding items to my cart, picking colors and the whole nine. I still wasn’t satisfied with what I wanted. I didn’t know what kind of toy I was looking for, but nothing stood out. When i found the dildo’s, my head start to hurt.

I love the color pink, HOWEVER, i did not want no Pink damn dildo. lmao It just seemed too unrealistic for me. It reminded me of a girl. lmao I didn’t want to have something in me that reminded me of a girl. Then it was she shade. LAWWD Jesus. Its like there was no in between. Either you get a really really dark black penis, or a really really white one. I wanted a brown one. I think if I would have ordered the white one, I would have had to refer to this as my sex COCK. It doesn’t seem right to say COCK to something thats any other color than white.

dildoshades

Carmel and Coffee sounds tasty! Those colors would have been perfect. But no! Thats too much like right! fml

Then it was off to material. Glass house sounds perfect, for a car, a condo, or even a home. BUT for a sex toy!? HELL FUvK NO!! Not in my house.What do I look like actually venturing out to get your own glass dildo or personal set of anal beads. Not regular ones, anal beads with tails.  I was not about to attempt to buy a glass sex toy and experiment on me! NO SIR! Some of the toys were so freaking realistic. I was looking like “How you dddooiiiiinn?”

After all this time, I should have just went with vibrator. I tired. They were too complicated. Asians plays NO GAMES.

So the one I end up settling for was the darkest black. Honestly, that shit looks scary. DARK DARK BLACK? damn. Hey, Black lives matter so i’ll have to suck it up and deal with it. (Considering they had no in between) I decided to dive in before I could come up with some lame reason why I shouldn’t get  a sex toy a try. A sex toys!? Fuxk yeah! Let’s do this shit! I had to get my self hyped after I realized I actually purchased it.

I don’t know how its going to arrive, I don’t know what to expect, and I honestly don’t even know what I’m pose to do with the damn thing. smh I think I’m going to name him after… … …. He don’t fuss, don’t fight, and don’t argue.He’s not petty, He’s PERFECT!!

It will be here soon, so I’ll be doing my research until then. Once I get it, I will upload a video. NOT a porn video, FREAKS. A video that shows the size, the thickness, the details… and everything in real life.

I’m actually kind of nervous. Its like a blind date with someone you HAVE to like. I never thought it would be me to get a little anxious when I am about to go into a new situation.

As usual, I was getting myself worked up about something that would turn out not only be a calm experience, but an empowering one.

DICK on demand? We shall see…

P.S Its waterproof. LMAO

I love water, I love showers, and I love shower sex. 

-yolo

 

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